Seeing all of the photos my favourite authors are posting from RT convention in Vegas has renewed my determination to work hard on my writing to become successful in the world of publishing. I have never wanted anything more in my life, and I intend to work as hard as I possibly can to get to where I want to be. As my favourite fictional lawyer would say, “I don’t have dreams, I have goals.“
The timing of this newfound determination is impeccably terrible as I am just finishing my first year of a two-year program in a field that is probably the farthest thing from creative writing. However, faced with the stress of choosing something to do after high school, this is what I chose because, well, what else was there? Listen, it made sense at the time.
I’m a planner by nature. Planning allows me to feel sure about what I’m doing, it gives me a clear picture of what I need to do in a certain amount of time, and as someone who struggles with anxiety that is crucial to my well-being.
So, you see, I chose basically the first college program that I landed on and thought ‘I might like this’. Maybe not the best decision on my part, but as I continue to remind myself, it’s something to fall back on, you know, if the world of publishing decides I’m not good enough.
I know what the odds are, you don’t need to tell me. Less than 1% of writers are published traditionally, and being that I’m an eighteen-year-old college student I have nowhere near the required funds to self-publish, if that was the direction I chose, which, at this point, it’s not.
So what does that mean for me? Yeah, I have no freaking clue. It’s not something I can plan and that leaves me wanting to give up on my
dreams goals to settle for a job I might not love going to every day.
I don’t want to settle, though, so I’m going to work my ass off and hope to God it pays off.
This seems like the perfect opportunity to thank everyone, friends and family alike, for your undying support. Especially the ones who support me having never read a word I’ve written. What if I suck? Then you’re supporting someone who sucks. I mean, I hope I don’t suck, but thanks for your support even if I do. Y’all are rockstars.
The doubt and uncertainty I’m feeling right now is seriously messing with me, but I only have four more days until I’m finished my first year of college, and then I have all summer to freak out, so there, something to look forward to, right?
Anyways, I interrupted my usual schedule of book reviews and such to bring you this opus of uncertainty and angst, so, you’re welcome.
Thanks for reading, lovely people.